I once hated reading, but I disciplined myself to do it anyway and now have a genuine love for books. I always ask people what they’ve read recently and I’m always shocked when they respond with something like “Oh, I haven’t really read many books since college.” Oh really? Not only is that just plain sad, it’s a quick way to get passed up in the marketplace.

There are so many smart people out there writing such great stuff. Honestly, too much great stuff. I would read for hours if I could, but I’ve found that an hour a day minimum keeps me satiated. Here are a few tips for making reading a part of your day:

Commit to a time.
I personally like mornings. I get in early and clear a few things off my list. Then around 8:00 am, I take an hour for reading at the local coffee shop. I also enjoy an hour outside in the park as a great way to mix up my day.

Have a system.
My reading consists of blogs, e-newsletters, articles and books. I’ve given up on trying to stay current and clear out my RSS feed. I just commit to that hour. In that hour, I dedicate 40 minutes or so to my current book and another 20 minutes to the digital stuff. (Stay tuned for a future post where I will describe in detail my system for collecting and reading digital content.)

Share.
Finally, I share with my friends what I’ve been reading. I find it addicting to give away books or share a title that may prove helpful. You’re not just reading for you. You’re also building knowledge that you can give away.

So, speaking of sharing…read any great books lately? Feel free to comment about your favorites.

People are always surprised when I dive right into an awkward conversation with little or no fear. The truth is, nobody (myself included) likes awkward conversations. But I would much rather talk about the elephant in the room when there’s still hope of getting him through the door instead of waiting until he grows so big that he punches the roof off the house.

Here are a few things that I’ve found helpful when approaching a tough subject with someone:

Respect.
Regardless of how awkward or perhaps hurt you feel, a little respect for others can go a long way. You blow your top and nobody wins. Be mad at the situation, yes, but not the person. This takes humility, but everyone wins when people are humble.

Clarity.
Being clear about how you feel and defining the desired outcome will help you keep some of the emotion out of it. Being passionate is fine, but if your emotions get the best of you, that’s when the false accusations start to fly. If the situation warrants, you may also want to put together a list of things to cover or solve in order to keep the conversation on target. In some situations, this list can be emailed in advance to prepare everyone for some elephant herding.

Courage with the end in mind.
It takes courage, but approach the situation with the end in mind. How much energy and time is wasted avoiding awkward conversations? The truth is that some things just won’t go away on their own. You can wish all you want, but at some point that conversation needs to happen. The sooner you dive in, the sooner it will be over, no matter the outcome.

What is that thing you’ve been avoiding? That conversation that just needs to be had? It’s time. The elephant is getting bigger while you read this. Take steps to deal with it this week.

[photo credit]

I’m not talking about Donald Trump here. Back in the olden days, many tradesman had an apprentice that learned whatever skill that tradesman practiced. It seems that we’ve lost some of that in the modern era, which is really sad. This post goes out to both the mentor and mentee.

For the mentee.
Find yourself a mentor, someone who’s been around the block a few times and will be open to sharing their experiences with you. In my 14 years of business, I have always had someone wiser that I spend time with. It started early on with my dad before we even started Crossgrain together and I was growing up in the family business. I was his apprentice and learned a ton about business and hard work. It continues for me today in the form of an advisory board. My point is that it can take on all sorts of forms, but you should always have a mentor. Be transparent and be humble and get out and find someone to meet with.

For the mentor.
You are needed now more than ever. So many young entrepreneurs are looking for guidance and it’s really your responsibility to show the young guys the ropes. That’s right, I said “your responsibility.” I feel like every successful person has achieved success because of the people and experiences in their life. To me, that means they owe a debt and the only payment due is to share that knowledge with someone else. Don’t wait for someone to ask, insert yourself into a young person’s life and give them the gift of your experience.

P.S. The rule of being mentored is that at some point you have to give back as well. Even if you don’t feel like you have anything to give, there is always someone that you can pass along your knowledge to. Knowledge is not for you to hoard; it’s for you to share with others. This is why I never turn down a coffee or lunch with a young designer. I might not be able to share much, but I can certainly share myself.

(photo credit)

There’s something about getting things out in the open that really helps us work through our junk and keeps us humble. It’s easy for us to buy into the lie that we are the only ones facing a certain issue, that somehow our problems are unique. I believe every human being is unique and special, but our problems are shared.

When I finally open up and share something, that’s me choosing to move beyond denial and arriving at a point where I can learn something. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve opened up and been inspired by someone else’s comments. Most people love to help. People don’t like to ask for help, though. Funny how that works.

Now I’m in no way suggesting that you become someone who complains or constantly begs for help. At some point you have to push through your stuff solo.

But being transparent is about helping others. You’re transparent FIRST so that others may be encouraged by your struggle and determination to work things out, Second, you’re transparent so that you can learn something. Being transparent is different than asking others to take away your problems, it’s about all of us learning together.

Be more transparent, I say. We have much to learn from each other. Besides, what’s the worst thing that could happen? You get laughed at? I’ve been laughed at before. You cry? Yeah, I’ve done that. You get yelled at? Sure, that’s happened before too. Trust me. That person you think has it so figured out? He is just as broken as the next guy.

Been in a funk lately? Feel like no matter what you do you can’t seem to get back on top of where you were last month or last year? Sometimes it’s important to just hit the reset button, even in the middle of a hectic time.

When I’ve had enough and I’m at that point where working at my desk almost becomes counterproductive, I hit reset.

What’s this reset button I speak of? It could be something fun, maybe time with family or friends. Perhaps it’s time spent alone or off listening to a lecture. For me, the best reset is time alone or time spent on my bike.

You also need to know what you are going to do after the reset. If you don’t have a plan for next steps, your day away could easily turn into a couple days or longer. You want to make sure when you reset, you do it correctly. If not, you could be in danger of taking a day off only to return and feel the same burn out as before. Add discouragement to the mix and it just gets worse. To create my post-reset plan, I write down three characteristics of a time when I felt productive and happy and like I was really handling things.

Finally, I hit the reset. Just close up the office and leave for a day. I don’t think about work in that time; just truly take time to reset. When I come back the next day, I focus on doing those three things or taking on those characteristics from a better time.

Sometimes it’s counterproductive to fight; hit the reset and don’t feel guilty about it. (Radio Shack has some reset buttons for sale if needed)

I laugh when I see everyone so up in arms about Facebook’s privacy policy. Or when people complain about the ads on a page being relevant to your content, like Big Brother is watching us.

First of all, are we really that shocked? I think people buy into the illusion of privacy when using something password protected. That somehow companies like Google and Facebook will always play nice and not share content. The truth? Privacy online is a farce. That’s right, I said it. It doesn’t exist. If you want something to remain private, don’t post it online. Period.

I’m not expecting the likes of Google, Facebook and others to protect my privacy. That’s my job. It’s so easy for us to blame others because we think it somehow negates our own responsibility. We should also keep in mind that most of these services are FREE. But free always costs us something, right? Quite frankly, I’m fine with Facebook bots reading my content. I’m fine with the advertising on my page being somewhat relevant to my interests. I would rather see an ad for something I would buy. But I guess that’s because I understand that Facebook is not private.

The bottom line: If you want something to be private, DON’T POST IT ONLINE. Just sayin’.

It’s funny to watch my two boys interact, especially when the older one teaches the younger. While watching them, it struck me that no matter the age, we all have opportunities to mentor.

Someone in college has something to give incoming students. Someone in high school could read to younger kids. You get the idea. But when most people think of mentoring, they often think of an older person with 30 years of experience mentoring someone much younger. But I think we all have something to give.

Maybe you don’t think of yourself as a mentor or maybe you just don’t see the value. But I personally never turn down a young designer’s request for coffee. So much of who I am as a person is the result of the wisdom of others. Who am I to hoard that information? It’s in my head so that I can give it away.

The younger generation is desperate for mentors. Please, for the sake of us all, get out and share what you’ve learned. Even, as in the case of my two boys, if it’s just teaching someone how to properly run around the park screaming. I can think of plenty of times in my life when such a lesson would come in handy.

A common misconception is that work should get easier over time. Sure, as you gain experience and learn from your mistakes, you hopefully won’t have to deal with “that” issue again. But I don’t think it’s healthy to always want “easy.” The way you learn, the way you grow as a person? You work at it. And when it gets easy? You raise the bar and work at it some more.

I have to admit, I’ve been blessed with some amazing clients over the years and for a while, I started to get frustrated when a not-so-easy client came along. The truth is, those are the times when you put your head down and push that rock up the hill. And the real truth for me is that even those challenging clients are far better than some of the colleague horror stories I’ve heard.

It’s easy to complain when things get a little hard, but that’s why they call it work. Imagine your complaints if you didn’t have a roof over your head or had to beg on the street for your next meal. Stop complaining and push that rock up the hill!

Do you get stuck sometimes? Do you find yourself drifting over to Twitter or Facebook because you just don’t want to look at that project anymore? Maybe it’s time to hit reset.

We call it the “Hot Lap” at my office. Get up, go outside and take a lap around the block. It’s amazing what it can do for your productivity when you’re struggling.

P.S. Sorry to my cold weather friends. I realize that being in California makes the “Hot Lap” a little more possible than some other places in the country. So, take a “Cold Lap” and laugh at the poor saps in Cali, with their stupid high mortgages and time wasted on freeways in stupid traffic.

photo credit James Marvin Phelps

I’m so excited to be speaking at this year’s HOW Creative Freelance Conference June 5-6 in Denver. (You! Yes, you! Come see me!)

The title of my talk is “Who’s the boss?”. All 80s sitcom references aside, I will be talking about setting clear expectations in working relationships; about how we should always seek out and work with people that are a good fit.

But it’s not just being the boss, it’s about being a good boss. A good boss brings out the best in those around them and also realizes his or her strengths. (read Strengthsfinder 2.0)

Being the boss with your clients is not about being a bully or trying to get your way. A good boss feels the weight of his responsibilities daily; he is there to make his people better and set them up to win. To me, it boils down to being a professional.

You were hired because you’re good at something, because the person or company that hired you saw something they wanted. So, lead! It’s your job to push back if you feel like you have a better way or solution. It’s your job to set clear expectations for all parties involved. It’s your job to lead everyone efficiently. It’s not about being a bully. It’s about being a professional. Remember what Uncle Ben said to Spiderman, “With great power comes great responsibility.”

So be a pro at what you do. Take control and lead others to greater prosperity and understanding. Be a professional and know when things don’t fit. A pro knows when he’s a bad match and when to bow out. A bully sticks around and tries to force his way no matter how bad the fit.

Be a professional. It’s what you’ve been hired to do.